Being an introvert
“I love to be alone. I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude.” Henry David Thoreau.
The saying “still waters run deep” describes me perfectly. Outwardly I am quiet and shy and yet I am deeply introspective. I am very self-aware which can be both a positive and a negative. A positive in that I know who I am and what I want. A negative as I become my own punching bag when things are not going right. Others will describe me as patient, committed and loyal. I’m a traditionalist with a strong belief in following the rules. I’m conventional and don’t believe in rocking the boat. I have a strong need to have close relationships, but I’m not easy to get to know. It’s like trying to get blood out of a stone. 🙂 I self-sacrifice and sometimes (who am I kidding!) most times don’t voice my own needs.
“Nothing can dim the light that shines from within.” Maya Angelou.
The world is a boring place in contrast to what’s going on in my head. I reach for the stars and feel let down when reality doesn’t match fantasy. I search for deeper meaning in my life. This has led me to explore spirituality. There’s more to life and I want to find out what it is. It’s a never ending quest. If I’m not using my imagination I will only put part of myself into anything I do.
Choosing words wisely
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.” Plato.
I feel drained after being around people. I need to spend time alone to regain my energy. One interesting fact I found about the brains of introverts and extroverts. They respond to dopamine differently. Just thought I would throw that one in. 🙂
I believe I’m a good listener due to being an introvert. I process information internally. I think before I speak. I only speak when I have something to say. I detest chit chat. Small talk drives me crazy, yet I know I need to engage in it if I’m to get to what I really want to talk about. I choose my words wisely in person and online. I don’t just put stuff up randomly. It’s well thought out and considered. Although I don’t think so, people say I have quite a sense of humour.
“People empty me. I have to get away to refill.” Charles Bukowski.
How I feel about being an introvert
“Everyone shines given the right lighting.” Susan Cain.
I’m pretty picky about who I let into my life. If I let you in, that means a lot. I like to get to know someone before sharing intimate details with them. This applies to a potential new romantic partner as much as it does to friendships. I’ve often felt that being an extrovert would be so much easier. It’s a constant struggle being an introvert. When I was growing up I thought something was wrong with me. This wasn’t helped by what happened to me at pre-school.
My mother has told me that my teacher suggested to her that I get tested. My mother being young and inexperienced (as a mother) at the time took me to a psychologist who did tests on me. It was concluded that I was perfectly normal and fine in every way. Any wonder I developed a sense of being misunderstood. Extroverts who get their stimulation from being around people don’t get the need to be alone, but then again I don’t get the need to be around people ALL the time, so I guess it’s a mutual misunderstanding. 🙂
“I wish, as well as everybody else, to be perfectly happy; but like everybody else, it must be in my own way.” Jane Austen.
Love and blessings to all.