For the next few weeks I will focus on times of the day and what they mean to me. This week I start with the dawn.
“The first appearance of light in the sky before sunrise.” (Google dictionary)
The dawn of a new day.
“Dawn was breaking, like the light from another world.” Alfred Jarry.
When I think of the dawn certain phrases come to mind. Dawn of a new day. Dawn of a new era. This means the start of something new. Beginnings. Things that have been hidden by the darkness start to reveal themselves.
“The nearer the dawn the darker the night.” Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.
A new understanding comes. I feel awake and enlightened by the dawn. I feel alive. For me the dawn is a sign of hope and optimism. Anything is possible. It’s a new day. I’ve been given a chance to start over again. Hope springs eternal every time a new day begins. I take in the silence of the dawn as it breaks over the horizon. This is my moment to go within and connect to my heart and soul.
“Veil after veil of thin, dusky gauze is lifted, and by degrees the forms and colours of things are restored to them, and we watch the dawn remaking the world in its antique pattern.” Oscar Wilde.
“The path followed by a projectile flying or an object moving under the action of given forces.” (Google dictionary)
The word ‘trajectory’ has been coming up a lot for me this past week. This means the route in life I choose. Am I going in the direction I want to go, to get to where I want to go? Sometimes a slight change can alter the trajectory. This new path may not be where I planned to be, but it is where I need to be at that time.
“Does the walker choose the path, or the path the walker?” Garth Nix.
Many years back when I was with my first boyfriend he asked me to marry him. I said yes, carried away by the romance of it all. We planned the wedding. We looked at reception venues. I bought the dress. I still have this dress. I wonder if I will ever get to wear it, but I digress. There were red flags I chose to ignore. Red flags that said loud and clear DON’T DO THIS, but I chose to ignore them.
We hadn’t set a date. I kept putting it off. I attributed this to having cold feet. We moved in together. One day my fiancé was in hospital. It was a particularly hot summer’s day. I had just got home from work. He called me to ask if I could drop off some clothes for him. After an hour in a car with no air conditioning I thought there’s no way I’m getting back in there and driving to the hospital.
“It’s all well and good to look back after the fact and see what we should have done, but we rarely know what path is best when we take the first step.” Christine Feehan.
I knew in that moment that I didn’t love him. I didn’t care enough about him to want to spend the rest of my life with him. It took this incident for me to realize the track I was on wasn’t the right one for me. We broke up. My life took a different trajectory.
Blessings to all xx
“When you find your path, you must ignore fear. You need to have the courage to risk mistakes. But once you are on that road,… run, run, run, and don’t stop till you’ve reached its end.” Jose N. Harris.
Forever young
It’s funny when we are children we seem to be in a hurry to grow up. Why can’t I do this or do that? Our parents say when you get older there’s plenty of time. Yet we are impatient and can’t wait “till we are older.” My niece (who’s only 5 years old) seems to understand this already. She always saying, “when I’m older.”
Time seems to go so slowly when we’re young. We don’t have the patience. In our young minds we feel like the things we want to do are limited. Life seems unfair. The adults can do whatever they want. Our parents take care of all our material needs such as food, shelter and education. We have no appreciation for this and take it for granted till we are adults. We live in the moment and don’t give much thought to what lies ahead.
“Forever young. I wanna be forever young.”
Me in my younger years
Time goes so fast
I can’t believe that I’m 50. Actually a few months off 51. Fifty-one! The years have gone surreptitiously. They disappeared before my eyes. While in youth time seemed to go so slow as soon as I hit 21 time seem to accelerate at the speed of lightning. I guess when we’re young we think we’ve got plenty of time, but as we get older we start to realise time is passing us by. Our lives start to feel finite. Our time is limited. We don’t live forever and even though that’s obvious it can come as a shock as it did for me. I felt it strongly when I turned fifty. I realised that more of my life may be behind me, than what is front of me. I can’t look back, only forward. I will take what life has taught me up till now and move ahead with grace, resilience and confidence.
I may not be young in body, but I’m young in spirit with the wisdom of the years.
Blessings to all xx
I don’t think this should be called a “lockdown”. This makes me feel like I’m being imprisoned. How about “hibernation?” Yes that sounds better to me. “An extended period of remaining inactive or indoors.” (Google dictionary).
“Hibernation mode activated.”
Yes I may be indoors, but I’m far from being inactive. I work three days a work. Once a week I collect my shopping from my local supermarket. Every two to three weeks I make a quick trip to the pharmacy to stock up on a few necessities. In an average week I’m spending fifty percent of it at home. For me there’s not much chance of going stir crazy!
“I am physically, mentally and emotionally ready to enter a new phase in my life…hibernation.”
Keeping healthy in every way
For my physical health (weather permitting) I go for a walk around my local area. If not I’m dancing at home. From 1999 to 2005 I had lessons in Latin American dancing. I still know all the steps, so I combine them with a bit of freestyling. My parents have a spare room upstairs. I suppose you could call it an attic. There’s plenty of space for me to “strut my stuff.” I can dance like no-one’s watching because.. well no-one IS watching. This is good for my mental and emotional health as well.
I continue my writing practice when at home. I write in my diary daily. I’m working on my memoir. When I’m feeling inspired I put pen to paper and just write, write and write. This is my way of keeping my mind active.
Spiritually I meditate every day. I use a mindfulness technique by focusing solely on my breathing. When my mind wanders (and it does) I take it back to the breath. I do visualisations. What do I visualise? What I want to bring into my life. I don’t worry about how things will come about. I just trust that they will. While I’m seated I ground myself by imagining roots going down my legs, then down through the bottoms of my feet and then into the ground below me.
Blessings to all xx
“Hibernation is a covert preparation for a more overt action.” Ralph Ellison.
A few nights ago I had a dream I was in New York (never been there in real life). Brooklyn to be precise. I was walking down streets full of people. It started to rain. I wrapped a pink blanket over my head and shoulders. I believed this offered me some protection.
I’m looking for security and protection at a time when I’m not feeling particularly secure or protected. I feel endangered every time I go out among people. I think I put on the blanket for safety reasons. It was my subconscious way of giving me comfort (at least in my dream) and telling me I am fine. There’s no need to worry.
HEALTH AND HEALING
I believe in angels and I pray to them regularly. In particular I’m asking Archangel Raphael for help. His name means, “God heals.” As I pray to him I visualise a green blanket covering where I live and work and in my mind I also use it to cover the homes of my siblings. Green represents health and healing and Archangel Raphael. I believe it’s better to pray than to worry as worry is a negative energy that doesn’t help the situation. This is the blanket of protection I use to keep my loved ones safe during this pandemic.
“Safety and security don’t just happen, they are the result of collective consensus and public investment. We owe our children, the most vulnerable citizens in our society, a life free of violence and fear.” Nelson Mandela.
A CHERISHED MEMORY
“I don’t want expensive gifts; I don’t want to be bought. I have everything I want. I just want someone to be there for me, to make me feel safe and secure.” Princess Diana.
I remember the early days of my relationship with my now ex-boyfriend. I was laying on his bed. I had my eyes closed, but I wasn’t asleep. Thinking I was asleep he put a blanket over me. As I felt the blanket go over me I had such a strong sense of being loved and cared for. With this experience I associate a blanket not only with security and protection, but with love. The colour pink (see my dream) is associated with love, joy, sweetness, happiness, caring, kindness, affection and maybe even romance.
It’s funny how something as simple as a blanket can have so many meanings.
Blessings to all xxx
“All you need is love. Love is all you need.” The Beatles.
Being the spiritual person that I am I believe everything happens for a reason. This pandemic is no exception. I only have to look at what is happening to the Amazon to see that humans are clearing land at an alarming rate. Animal habitats are being obliterated. This brings animals in closer contact with us. This makes it easier for viruses to spread from animal to animal and then to humans. This isn’t the first time this has happened and most likely it won’t be the last.
“Some say the planet is sick and humans are the virus, it is undeniably we as a species have destroyed this beautiful planet at an alarming rate. Putting aside global warming and climate change, no species is as greedy as the human race, we take more than we need and leave a trail of destruction.” (taken from http://www.geckoandfly.com)
This is the physical and tangible evidence that we as the most intelligent species on earth have brought on this virus ourselves as we exploit the environment. We need to re-think our relationship with the land we live on and the animals we share this planet with.
“Only after the last tree has been cut down. Only after the last river has been poisoned. Only after the last fish has been caught, only then will you find that money cannot be eaten.” – Cree Indian Prophecy.
There needs to be a balance between protecting the environment and providing for the needs of the human population. I’m not a politician or an environmentalist, but I can see a need for preservation of our natural resources so that we and future generations can live in harmony with each other and the natural world. We don’t have another planet we can move to if we stuff this one up.
“We are living on this planet as if we had another one to go.”
My thoughts are that God (the universe, higher power – whatever you call it/him/her) has created this pandemic as a wake-up call to save the world. To save it from us and what we (including myself) are doing to it. Due to our forced isolation I see examples of what the world could be like if we reduced pollution and so on. The canals of Venice are clean. The skies are free of pollution. I can breathe clean, fresh and beautiful air. I hope this doesn’t change when we all go back to “normal.”
I feel like my life has come to a standstill. I can’t go to a café for a coffee and cake. I can’t just pop out to buy some lunch. I go to the supermarket and pharmacy only when I need to. I can’t attend events through Meetup groups, so meeting new people (face to face) is out of the question. The only thing that remains the same is my job. Currently childcare centres remain open so I’m still working outside the home. Any thoughts of travelling have been shelved.
“Kindness is the best form of humanity.” Doris Lee.
Staying safe
I know I’m not the only one who has had their life turned upside down. We are all in the same boat. Good hygiene practices are something I’ve learned through my job caring for children, but now I’m so much more conscious of them. Washing and sanitizing my hands has become more important. I avoid touching my face. I’m struggling with this one. It’s hard to do. I cough and sneeze into my elbow. Prior to this outbreak I always coughed and sneezed on my hand. This is out of the question now so I’ve had to form a new habit.
Learning something new
“We are very, very small, but we are profoundly capable of very, very big things.” Stephen Hawking.
I’m conscious of everything I touch now. From my clothes to cutlery and crockery, door handles, soap dispenser, petrol pump, etc, etc. I’m the most rational, logical person you could come across, but now I’m completely OTT about hygiene. ‘Epidemiology’, ‘social distancing’ and ‘flattening the curve’ are terms I’d never heard of only two months ago. Now they are just part of the vernacular. I’m educating myself on what they mean and looking at graphs which I’ve never done before.
Shared experiences
“I don’t think of all the misery, but of the beauty that still remains.” Anne Frank.
The panic this pandemic has created makes me think how interconnected we all are. How human we are. We have a shared experience unlike any other. All humanity is equal at this time. This virus doesn’t spare anyone. Rich or poor, black or white, man or woman, Muslim, Catholic or Jew. If there’s any silver lining it is this. A rise in community spirit. People willing to help those more vulnerable and less fortunate than themselves. It is beautiful to see and I hope this continues beyond the pandemic.
History in the making
As this event unfolds history is being made. It will be written about and movies made I’m sure. When my nieces and nephews are middle-aged they will talk about this time. They will share it with their children and grandchildren. Just like the Spanish Flu pandemic of 1918-1919, the years 2019-2020 will never be forgotten.
Blessings to all.
“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.” Leo Tolstoy.
I’m nervous about being at work now. I’m what is considered an essential worker. I’m an early childhood educator. During this pandemic most if not all centres will remain open in Australia and to encourage parents to keep children in childcare it is now free for them.
So little and precious
While this is great for ensuring parents can work if they need to and my job is safe it’s my health and the health of my loved ones at risk. What about my health and those of my colleagues? We all have families that we need to protect too.
Having fun
In general children get the virus with only mild symptoms. However they most likely are carriers and can spread it to adults. This is my worry about being around children. While I can distance myself from my colleagues, it’s impossible to do this with children. I can’t change their nappies, give them first aid, put on their shoes, etc from a distance.
I heard someone say that a childcare centre is marinating in germs. Sounds pretty accurate. Children don’t wash their hands or cover themselves when they cough and sneeze. They wipe their noses on their sleeves. They don’t keep a distance. They touch everything. They don’t understand what is happening and that’s to be expected with young ones.
In terms of personal hygiene I follow all of the recommendations. I wash and sanitise my hands constantly. I cough into my elbow and avoid touching my face. I even carry paper towels in my pocket to use when opening doors or cupboards and when I go to the toilet. However this is could all be for nothing if a child carrying the virus coughs or sneezes on me. My concern is more for my parents than it is for me. They are in the high risk group and I live with them.
As you can see these aren’t just crazy times these are also scary times.
“Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow.” Helen Keller.
I’m wondering if this virus and all its repercussions will change the world in any way. My concern is that once this is all over the world will go back to what it was before. However I turn around this thinking and believe that a new world order is already starting to take shape. The old world view will fall away to reveal clear waters, clean air, clear skies. A change is in the air. We are seeing a “new normal” starting to take shape.
The eternal optimist
“Nothing can dim the light that shines from within.” Maya Angelou
The world I want to grow old in. The world I want my nieces and nephew to grow up in is a world where love and compassion rules above all else. I’m the eternal optimist you might say. A line from John Lennon’s “Imagine” describes me well. “You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one. I hope some day you join us, and the world will live as one.”
One world
We are not sheep
“Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.” Helen Keller.
We won’t be willing to accept what we are told. We will demand transparency from our governments. We won’t just blindly believe what is fed to us. We will do what needs to be done in our communities, towns and cities and not wait for others to make decisions for us. We are a collective, but we are not sheep. A phrase I have heard repeated time and time again of late is, ‘We are all in this together.” We are stronger in numbers than we could ever be individually.
“Hope is praying for rain, but faith is bringing an umbrella.” Unknown.
I went to my regular hair appointment. After a while I started feeling overwhelmed. I wanted to get out of there. Get away from people. I felt a strong urge to escape. Once I was done I almost ran home. Couldn’t get there quick enough.
I’m starting to feel like I’m getting sucked into this “vortex of craziness”. This pandemic gripping the world has induced a feeling of panic, fear and uncertainty. I need to get away somewhere alone. Centre, ground and balance myself. Meditate till I’m in a place I can feel ready to “to come back” as it were.
Being an empath I feel this so intensely. Sometimes I feel like someone is sitting on my chest. “I’ve got to get away. I’ve got to fly away.” (Lenny Kravitz)
Living with hope
“Faith is being sure of what we hope for, and certain of what we do not see.” Hebrews 11:1
All we can do is get through this the best we can, and the only way we can is together. My consolation is this won’t last forever. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. That light is hope. Estimates are that it will take 12 to 18 months to find a vaccine. I pray for a miracle; that it happens a hell of a lot sooner than that.
Staying positive
“The sun never quits shining. Sometimes, clouds just get in the way.” Unknown.
I have relatives living in the worst affected country in the world right now – Italy. Here in Australia we are keeping in touch with them to make sure they are okay, but there’s not much else we can do from so far away. In Australia the situation is nowhere near as dire and I hope it stays this way.
It’s hard to stay positive in times like this, but it’s in times like this that we really need to be. Keep our spirits uplifted. Take all the practical steps we can to keep us and our families safe. For the spiritual, like myself I say pray, pray, pray. I pray we all come out the other end more loving and compassionate human beings.
Blessings to all.
“And sometimes, against all odds, against all logic, we still hope.” Ellen Pompeo as Dr. Meredith Grey.
Flora Stream of Consciousness 