The Simple Things

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Hello everyone. It’s been a while since I posted. What a week it was last week. It was busy and full on. I get so caught up in all the things I do. I don’t stop to appreciate the simple things, the beauty in life.

Well last week I’ve found a few simple things to truly appreciate this thing called life. This all happened at work. First last week marked the start of Spring here in the southern hemisphere. While outside supervising the children I noticed budding flowers from a tree that has been bare during the winter months. I started working at this centre at the end of May, so I’ve only seen this tree bare.

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I know God, my angels and guides alerted me to look and see the tree as it blossoms. It’s so beautiful, yet so simple. To notice something as simple as flowers in bloom. I told the children playing nearby what I saw. They saw them and tried to pick them. One boy wanted me to pick him up so he could reach the higher branches.

It’s this child who provided me with the next beautiful moment or rather moments of the week. He’s non-verbal and struggles to communicate. He hadn’t come to me or connected with me in any way; till now. He’s been taking my hand as if he wants me to take him somewhere. He’s also coming to me to give him hugs. If I tell him he might be doing something wrong he looks at me and says, “Aww.” I think he understands. He loves animals and carries as many (wooden and plastic) as he can. He puts them down on the floor or ground and places them all in a row. I think this shows a sense of order, organization and structure. I think this is the start of a good relationship with this child.

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So I’m taking the time to appreciate the simple things in life. This keeps me in touch with what truly matters – love.

Blessings to all xx

Getting to know me

This much I know about myself (I know a lot more, but go with me on this). I’m under the astrological sign of Leo and the Chinese Zodiac sign of Rooster (specifically Earth Rooster). I’ve just completed the Myers Briggs Personality test. This test was developed by Isabel Myers and her mother Katherine Briggs. It’s based on the theories of psychiatrist/psychoanalyst Carl Jung. I’m an ISFJ (Introverted, Sensing, Feeling, Judging). I will go over the traits of Leo, Rooster and ISFJ both positive and negative and highlight what I believe to be true for me. Here goes.

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TRAITS OF LEO

Leo the lioness as I call myself. Once I’m understood I am straight forward and fairly predictable. The challenge is in understanding me however. Confident, fearless, charismatic and powerful. Optimistic, warm-hearted and outgoing. Dignified, playful, ambitious and loyal. Flamboyant.

Aggressive, dramatic, impulsive. Egotistical, demanding, intolerant, domineering, lazy and stubborn. Leos can be sensitive and hurt easily. Materialistic, have high expectations and can be easily disappointed.

MY THOUGHTS ON THIS

I believe it is hard getting to know me. I don’t give much away. It takes me a while to warm up to people. I’m working on being more confident and fearless. I need to believe I’m powerful a lot more. I’m the eternal optimist and I have a good heart. Outgoing? Flamboyant? – not so much. I am a dignified person and can be playful when I want to be. I have ambitions I’m yet to realise. I’m not egotistical, demanding or domineering. I don’t believe I’m aggressive, dramatic or impulsive. I’m way too cautious for that. I am sensitive and hurt easily. I like my material things, but I’m not obsessed with them. I can feel let down by people at times.

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TRAITS OF ROOSTER

Roosters are deep thinkers. Honest, bright, communicative, ambitious, capable and warm-hearted. They have a healthy self-respect and are meticulous, consistent, outgoing and skilful. Roosters are conscientious and hate dawdlers. They are efficient. Faithful and punctual. Courageous and humourous. They attach a lot of importance on love. Active, not quiet.

Impatient, overconfident and preachy. They are critical and think they are always right. Narrow minded and arrogant. Roosters aren’t willing to listen to others’ opinions. Roosters can be emotional and vain.

MY THOUGHTS ON THIS

Yes I am a deep thinker. I believe I’m honest and bright which I take to mean intelligent, smart or clever and quick at learning new things. I am capable and warm- hearted. I’m working on respecting myself more. I’m definitely consistent and conscientious and I must admit I dislike dawdlers. I like to get things done. I’m punctual and can be humourous at times. I’m more quiet than I am active. I don’t think I’m overconfident. I think I can be a little preachy and think I’m right while the other person is wrong. I need to work on listening to what other people have to say.

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ISFJ (INTROVERTED, SENSING, FEELING, JUDGING)

ISFJ people are supportive, reliable, and patient. Imaginative and observant. Loyal, humble and shy. They only enter relationships that have a real chance of lasting. ISFJ want commitment and appreciation. They like to get to know someone little by little. They are trustworthy, loving and faithful. Their kindness can be taken advantage of.

ISFJ can take things too personally due to their sensitivity. Repress their feelings and are reluctant to change.

MY THOUGHTS ON THIS

There’s a lot more to an ISFJ than this, however I think this summarises their most important traits. I can’t disagree with any of this. I am all of the above.

This has been an interesting exercise. Across Leo, Rooster and ISFJ some traits are similar. I think I know myself fairly well and it helps to know my weaknesses or negative traits so I can work on them and be the best person I can be.

Blessings to all xx

Lessons learned. Thoughts on current events.

Here I am at home. In between jobs, literally. I’m pissed off. Pissed off at how I was treated by those at the job I just left. If I hadn’t told staff I was leaving no-one would have known about it. You see regular e-mails are sent out weekly with updates of what’s happening in the workplace.

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Do you think my resigning was mentioned? Hell no. Not a sentence. Not a word. No acknowledgement whatsoever that I had worked there for what just six years. Just six years of my life. This is the thanks I get. It’s so disappointing. Too much of me was in that job. Perhaps I identified too much with it. I need to pull back and see that it is JUST a job. An important job, but just a job nevertheless. My life doesn’t revolve around it. It is what I do, not who I am. I need to be careful I don’t make the same mistake with my new job starting next week.

My identity has been too wrapped up in what I do; child care, writing, dancing. These are things I have an interest in. Things I do. They are NOT who I am. Looking back over the last six years I can see how I’ve become someone or something I’m not.

As an example when I was in my last relationship I merged with the other person. I didn’t know where he ended and I started. I got lost in it. I didn’t know who I was. So when the relationship came to an end I struggled to let it go. I struggled to accept that it had ended. It took a year to reach acceptance.

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When it comes to letting go of this job (in order to start another) I don’t have a year. I only have a week. This process of letting go needs to be fast tracked, so lucky I’m at home and able to do this in my own time.

When I started writing I didn’t know where this was going, but as I’ve continued I’ve worked out the real issues behind my struggle to let go. The real reasons I feel angry, rejected and betrayed. I’ve identified with this job too much. There needs to be a separation of sorts. Not just a physical one, but mentally and emotionally. Cutting the cords. Releasing the past. This is a lesson for me. I need to learn from it and move on.

Another lesson for me is that I find change and transitions difficult. I always have. I would rather stay in a situation I know (even if it isn’t good for me) than have to face the unknown. A case of “better the devil you know.” However I can’t run away from it. Change is a part of life. Without change how would I grow? How would I learn new things?

Back to job front I guess I got angry with not being acknowledged by my now “old” workplace because it was important to me. It meant something to have my contributions and achievements recognized. What I didn’t realise till now is that just because it matters to me doesn’t mean it matters to others. I know that we all don’t see or experience life in the same way.

From this lesson should come forgiveness. Forgiveness for those I believe have done something wrong. They didn’t really do anything wrong as such.  All they did was not act the way I wanted or expected them to. This is only my perception on what’s happened.

Blessings to all xx

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Our world

What are we doing to our world? By “we” I include me because I’m living on earth and consuming what nature has given us. I’m a part of nature even though there’s a paradigm that I’ve accepted over the years that states I’m not. What happens in the natural world doesn’t have anything to do with me. I’m so far removed from it that I disconnect from it. I go about my life with a lack of awareness that I’m a part of the plants, animals and the earth itself.

Without the flora and the fauna and the ground beneath my feet I wouldn’t be here. It’s the air I breathe, the food I eat, the water I drink, the bed I sleep on, the house I live in, the car I drive and all the technology at my fingertips. We can’t pretend we don’t have an impact on the environment and the climate. We can’t keep taking from the earth and not giving back. Nature renews and regenerates. This is the miracle of mother nature at work. Let’s get together and give nature a helping hand. When we take from our mother let’s give back and show gratitude for what she has provided for us. Our first nation’s people have been doing this for thousands and thousands of years.

As the world’s population grows we need to find ways to provide for everyone. These ways do exist. We can do it. We fear change. It’s easier to keep the status quo than to find new ways of doing things. Those who benefit from keeping everything as it is deny climate change. They deny the impact on the planet because to admit it would mean affecting the bottom line. Wealthy corporations feel threatened so they keep their heads in the sand and wish it all away. It won’t go away and that’s the reality of the world we are living in.

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To say, “I won’t be here in 50 years so what do I care?” is selfish and irresponsible. We owe it to our children and grandchildren to leave them a sustainable world. What kind of world do we want our descendants to inherit? A world that gives them all they need to survive. A world of natural beauty and harmony where we co-exist with all creatures great and small. We can get together and make a change. It’s happened before.

In the eighties scientists studying the effects of CFCs (Chlorofluorocarbons) on the atmosphere discovered a hole in the ozone layer. The only way to prevent it getting bigger was to stop the use of CFCs worldwide. The world came together to ban the use of CFCs. When we human beings have the will to change something we can. When we come together in a common cause anything is possible.

I take responsibility for my part in this problem and I want to be a part of the solution. We only have one home. If we mess this one up we can’t go elsewhere.

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Blessings to all xx

Music

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“So I say thank you for the music, the songs I’m singing. Thanks for all the joy they’re bringing. Who can live without it? I ask in all honesty. What would life be? Without a song or a dance what are we.” Songwriters: Benny Andersson and Bjoern Ulvaeus.

This song just popped into my head as I began to think about music.

“Music is the universal language of mankind.” Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.

Music is universal. No matter who we are or where we are music ties us together. It binds us. Music is a language of emotion. It’s a way of expressing feelings. We connect a song to a time and a place in our lives. When we hear it it takes us back there. A song can make us cry or make us happy. Music can rouse us from our slumber and inspire us to do great things. It gives us a voice. The song “I am woman” by Helen Reddy comes to mind when I think of a song’s power to inspire a movement.

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“Where words fail, music speaks.” Hans Christian Andersen.

Songs like words on a page tell a story. Stories of falling in and out of love for example. Music played at weddings, parties and funerals. Music that fits in to every part of our lives. Good times, bad times. Music plays an important role, beyond just entertaining us. It can help to relieve stress and calm us. Did you know that music can increase children’s cognitive and motor skills? Music touches our souls because from birth we are surrounded by sounds and patterns.

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“Music is the wine that fills the cup of silence.” Robert Fripp.

Without music I imagine life would be dull and monotone. If it wasn’t for music there would have been no Live Aid or any other events to raise awareness of worthwhile causes. Music for me is a form of escape. Filling in the silence. I sing and dance and get lost in it. It can transport me from my reality, if only for a short time. Other times it grounds me in the here and now.

Blessings to all xx

The search continues….

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“You must travel your own journey at your own pace; do not rush the process. . . or assume that you have to accept someone else’s choices for your life.” Thomas L. Jackson Ph.D.

I’m looking for ways to liberate myself from my blocks. The ones that keep me from moving forward. They all have to do with fear. I’m not trying to rid myself of the fear, but rather find the courage to face the fear, do what I need to do and be who I need to be.

“On this journey of life, spirituality is the very sand upon which we travel.” Robert W. Chism.

I’ve done this by researching and practicing many modalities over the years. My quest began in 2007. I know this because it was just after I broke up with my first boyfriend. I started with reading cards – angel and tarot. The following is a list of modalities I’ve tried since then. Some I’m still doing, others I’ve dropped simply because they didn’t resonate with me any longer.

  • Meditation
  • Visualisation
  • Affirmations
  • Palmistry
  • Numerology
  • Crystals
  • Chakra balancing
  • Reiki
  • Hypnosis
  • Automatic writing
  • Law of Attraction

I’m currently looking at sound healing therapy and ancestral healing. It seems promising so far! My intuition tells me what feels right and I go with that. I combine several of the above modalities to create my own practice or ritual. When I find something new I just add it in. This is a never-ending story, a never-ending quest. This will go on till I take my final breath and it’s time to go home. This isn’t a frustrating search. Far from it. It’s an enriching one. With every new concept I learn I become a better spiritual and human being. A journey of self-discovery. Revelations and epiphanies.

“Each has to travel his own path. It cannot be replicated or prescribed, because each one of us is unique and so are our circumstances.” Mishra.

However none of this knowledge is truly new. My soul had this wisdom all along.  I’m simply re-discovering this wisdom and I’m simply tapping into what I already know at my core to be true.

“This thing we call life is not a destination with an end but a path down which we continue to journey as long as we can breath. Life is to be lived not squandered or to give away waiting for the end to close upon us.” Byron Pulsifer.

Blessings to all xx

Fear

“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” Franklin D. Roosevelt.

 Fear is a primitive state that harks back to the time of our ancestors. At the time there were many real and present dangers around them. Their fear kept them safe. I believe we’ve carried this fear (real or imagined) in our genes.

“Being brave isn’t the absence of fear. Being brave is having that fear, but finding a way through it.” Bear Grylls.

When fear is appropriate it’s healthy to feel the fear, especially if we are in physical danger. It can protect us from harm. However in modern life fear serves no purpose.

“The fears we don’t face become our limits.” Robin Sharma.

 Ninety percent of what we worry about never happens, so why spend hundred percent of our time worrying about what only has a ten percent chance of happening? Most fear is based on illusion. How often do we fear something only to find it never happens? It’s our imagination over-reacting.

“Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.” Les Brown.

I’m really struggling with fear at the moment. I think I’ve allowed this fear to take over. I used to think I needed to get this impediment out of the way in order to live the life I want to live. If I spend all my time waiting for fear to dissipate I will never move forward in my life. I would never take a chance, take a risk. This limits me. How can I grow? How can I become a better person if I don’t step into the unknown? The fear will always be there, so I feel that fear and do it anyway.

“Who sees all beings in his own self, and his own self in all beings, loses all fear.” Isa Upanishad, Hindu Scripture.

Blessings to all xx

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My father

As promised I’m writing about my father this week. My father, my father. What can I say about my father?

“A girl’s father is the first man in her life, and probably the most influential.” David Jeremiah.

 While my mother is extroverted and a social butterfly, my Dad is an introvert and would rather sit in front of a TV or potter in the garden than socialize. While my mum wears her heart on her sleeve, Dad keeps his feelings to himself. I have rarely seen him shed a tear. Oh he gets angry from time to time, but cry hardly ever. I think he may have learned to be guarded from his mother. She was detached and showed little emotion.

Mum is emotional, Dad is the rational and practical one. He thinks things through and makes decisions on the spot. Once he makes up his mind there’s no turning back. Mum calls him her rock and I can see that in their interactions with each other. In a crisis Dad can be relied upon to see her through. Mum says when it’s time for them to leave this world she hopes she goes first as she couldn’t cope without him. If we need help he is there for me and my siblings. My six year old niece calls him “Mr Fix-It.” If anything needs fixing just ask him and he will help in any way he can.

“Being a daddy’s girl is like having permanent armor for the rest of your life.” Marinela Reka.

I’ve always felt closer to my father than my mother. I think this has to do with our personalities being so similar. Perhaps I’m guilty of putting him on a pedestal. Mum will say he has faults and I know he does, however he’s my Dad what can I say.

“To a father growing old, nothing is dearer than a daughter.” Euripides.

He has always been a hard worker and an excellent provider. He worked in the construction industry, prior to retiring at 65. This was physically hard, but he was as strong as an ox. It’s only been in recent years that his health has gone down a little. Compared to my mother he is the healthier one despite being nine years her senior. He’s been blessed with good health and longevity. It’s in his genes. He’s 82 and the youngest of five. He has three older sisters all in their eighties and his oldest brother who recently turned 90. His mother passed at the ripe old age of 101.

His favourite place is being out in the garden. It’s green and lush and so well maintained. Dad eats from three food groups – pasta, fruit and cheese. Long after everyone else has left the table Dad is still there going through his assortment of fruit.

“I am not ashamed to say that no man I ever met was my father’s equal, and I never loved any other man as much.” Hedy Lamarr.

“You can take the man out of the country, but you can’t take the country out of the man.” My father migrated from Italy almost 59 years ago, but still has a strong accent. He eats Italian, reads Italian and listens to Italian news direct from Italy no less. He is an Italian through and through. Although he loves living in Australia, having spent most of his life here, I think when it’s his time his soul will go back to the land of his birth.

Blessings to all xx

My mother

This week I’m going to write about my mother. Next week I will follow this with a piece about my father.

“To the world, you are a Mother… To your family, you are the world.” Unknown.

My mother. What can I say about my mother? She’s beautiful inside and out. She’s strong, gutsy and resilient. She’s had to be.

My mother as a teenager and with my father on their wedding day.

She’s an extrovert. A social butterfly. She loves to talk. My mother loves getting to know people. She’s genuinely interested in them and what makes them tick.

“All that I am or ever hope to be I owe to my angel mother.” Abraham Lincoln.

My mother is always stylish, classy and elegant on the outside even if she feels awful on the inside. She is a carer and a nurturer. She worries about her children and grandchildren often to the point of making herself sick.

She gave up her dream of being a fashion designer so she could stay home and take care of us. As children she made almost all of our clothes. She loves bags, jewellery, having manicures and going to the hairdresser. She has exquisite taste and this shows in how she dresses and the lovely pieces she buys.

“A mother’s love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dates all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path.” Unknown.

My mother is like a lioness watching over and protecting her cubs. A warrior who will stand and defend those she loves. She doesn’t suffer fools gladly. Never try pulling the wool over her eyes! I don’t have children, but my two sisters do. They are wonderful mothers thanks to the example set by my mother.

My sister with her beautiful twins

She has suffered with the tragic death of her beloved brother in a car crash in 1973. In 1979 she mourned the passing of her father (while pregnant with my sister) with whom she had a complicated relationship. She felt most the loss of her own mother in 1988. She and my grandmother were very close. My mum’s mum has been gone for over 32 years now, but she still talks about her. More recently she lost her sister as well.

Mum lives with panic/anxiety disorder plus other health conditions which she manages with medication. Yet she carries on living the best life she can. Caring and loving her family and always being there for us. Thank you Mum. Love you to the moon and back.

Next week my father…

Blessings to all xx

Grief

“Do not stand at my grave and weep

 I am not there. I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.

I am the diamond glints on snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain.

I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning’s hush

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circled flight.

I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry;

I am not there. I did not die.”

Mary Elizabeth Frye.

This is my first post for 2021. This is a difficult topic to write about, however we all go through this in our lives.

There are five stages of grief:

Denial – This can’t be happening. This isn’t happening.

Anger – Why is this happening to me? Someone is to blame.

Bargaining – Make this not happen and in return I will….

Depression – I’m too sad to do anything.

Acceptance – I’m at peace with what happened.

“Grief feels like driving through dense fog with no direction and no end in sight.” Unknown.

These stages are merely a guide of emotions we experience as we go through grief. It isn’t followed in a sequential order. One can jump back and forth between them. It takes time and each individual mourns and grieves differently.

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 However  I believe ultimately acceptance needs to be reached if we are to continue living in the best way possible. There is a time to be sad and a time to mourn, but there’s no benefit (health wise) in carrying it around. Life goes on is a cliché we often hear, but nevertheless a true one. Our loved one would want us to move forward. The best way I can think of, of honouring them is to live our best life. Till we meet again.

“For everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven: A time to be born, a time to die. A time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance.” Ecclesiastes 3:1

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Happy New Year!

Blessings to all xx