Here I am at home. In between jobs, literally. I’m pissed off. Pissed off at how I was treated by those at the job I just left. If I hadn’t told staff I was leaving no-one would have known about it. You see regular e-mails are sent out weekly with updates of what’s happening in the workplace.

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Do you think my resigning was mentioned? Hell no. Not a sentence. Not a word. No acknowledgement whatsoever that I had worked there for what just six years. Just six years of my life. This is the thanks I get. It’s so disappointing. Too much of me was in that job. Perhaps I identified too much with it. I need to pull back and see that it is JUST a job. An important job, but just a job nevertheless. My life doesn’t revolve around it. It is what I do, not who I am. I need to be careful I don’t make the same mistake with my new job starting next week.

My identity has been too wrapped up in what I do; child care, writing, dancing. These are things I have an interest in. Things I do. They are NOT who I am. Looking back over the last six years I can see how I’ve become someone or something I’m not.

As an example when I was in my last relationship I merged with the other person. I didn’t know where he ended and I started. I got lost in it. I didn’t know who I was. So when the relationship came to an end I struggled to let it go. I struggled to accept that it had ended. It took a year to reach acceptance.

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When it comes to letting go of this job (in order to start another) I don’t have a year. I only have a week. This process of letting go needs to be fast tracked, so lucky I’m at home and able to do this in my own time.

When I started writing I didn’t know where this was going, but as I’ve continued I’ve worked out the real issues behind my struggle to let go. The real reasons I feel angry, rejected and betrayed. I’ve identified with this job too much. There needs to be a separation of sorts. Not just a physical one, but mentally and emotionally. Cutting the cords. Releasing the past. This is a lesson for me. I need to learn from it and move on.

Another lesson for me is that I find change and transitions difficult. I always have. I would rather stay in a situation I know (even if it isn’t good for me) than have to face the unknown. A case of “better the devil you know.” However I can’t run away from it. Change is a part of life. Without change how would I grow? How would I learn new things?

Back to job front I guess I got angry with not being acknowledged by my now “old” workplace because it was important to me. It meant something to have my contributions and achievements recognized. What I didn’t realise till now is that just because it matters to me doesn’t mean it matters to others. I know that we all don’t see or experience life in the same way.

From this lesson should come forgiveness. Forgiveness for those I believe have done something wrong. They didn’t really do anything wrong as such.  All they did was not act the way I wanted or expected them to. This is only my perception on what’s happened.

Blessings to all xx

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2 thoughts on “Lessons learned. Thoughts on current events.

  1. Flora, that is brilliant. The problem is we place our high expectations on others and when it doesn’t go to plan, we get mighty disappointed. Best thing is to go in the new job with no expectations. Feelings and compassion left this world a long time ago for anyone to even care about anything anymore – that is a side effect of a patriarchal society. You are too good for this world, keep spreading your light.

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    1. Hello Melanie, I will go into new job next week with no expectations. This way I won’t be disappointed. I will continue to be who I am no matter what’s going on around me. When I read the last line of your comments I was very touched. It’s nice to know someone gets me. Gets who I really am. Thank you so very much. 🤗

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