#change – Flora Stream of Consciousness

Posted on May 18, 2021 by startlifeat50 · 2 Comments

Lessons learned. Thoughts on current events.

Here I am at home. In between jobs, literally. I’m pissed off. Pissed off at how I was treated by those at the job I just left. If I hadn’t told staff I was leaving no-one would have known about it. You see regular e-mails are sent out weekly with updates of what’s happening in the workplace.

Do you think my resigning was mentioned? Hell no. Not a sentence. Not a word. No acknowledgement whatsoever that I had worked there for what just six years. Just six years of my life. This is the thanks I get. It’s so disappointing. Too much of me was in that job. Perhaps I identified too much with it. I need to pull back and see that it is JUST a job. An important job, but just a job nevertheless. My life doesn’t revolve around it. It is what I do, not who I am. I need to be careful I don’t make the same mistake with my new job starting next week.

My identity has been too wrapped up in what I do; child care, writing, dancing. These are things I have an interest in. Things I do. They are NOT who I am. Looking back over the last six years I can see how I’ve become someone or something I’m not.

As an example when I was in my last relationship I merged with the other person. I didn’t know where he ended and I started. I got lost in it. I didn’t know who I was. So when the relationship came to an end I struggled to let it go. I struggled to accept that it had ended. It took a year to reach acceptance.

When it comes to letting go of this job (in order to start another) I don’t have a year. I only have a week. This process of letting go needs to be fast tracked, so lucky I’m at home and able to do this in my own time.

When I started writing I didn’t know where this was going, but as I’ve continued I’ve worked out the real issues behind my struggle to let go. The real reasons I feel angry, rejected and betrayed. I’ve identified with this job too much. There needs to be a separation of sorts. Not just a physical one, but mentally and emotionally. Cutting the cords. Releasing the past. This is a lesson for me. I need to learn from it and move on.

Another lesson for me is that I find change and transitions difficult. I always have. I would rather stay in a situation I know (even if it isn’t good for me) than have to face the unknown. A case of “better the devil you know.” However I can’t run away from it. Change is a part of life. Without change how would I grow? How would I learn new things?

Back to job front I guess I got angry with not being acknowledged by my now “old” workplace because it was important to me. It meant something to have my contributions and achievements recognized. What I didn’t realise till now is that just because it matters to me doesn’t mean it matters to others. I know that we all don’t see or experience life in the same way.

From this lesson should come forgiveness. Forgiveness for those I believe have done something wrong. They didn’t really do anything wrong as such. All they did was not act the way I wanted or expected them to. This is only my perception on what’s happened.

Blessings to all xx

Posted on Apr 3, 2021 by startlifeat50 · 1 Comment

Our world

What are we doing to our world? By “we” I include me because I’m living on earth and consuming what nature has given us. I’m a part of nature even though there’s a paradigm that I’ve accepted over the years that states I’m not. What happens in the natural world doesn’t have anything to do with me. I’m so far removed from it that I disconnect from it. I go about my life with a lack of awareness that I’m a part of the plants, animals and the earth itself.

Without the flora and the fauna and the ground beneath my feet I wouldn’t be here. It’s the air I breathe, the food I eat, the water I drink, the bed I sleep on, the house I live in, the car I drive and all the technology at my fingertips. We can’t pretend we don’t have an impact on the environment and the climate. We can’t keep taking from the earth and not giving back. Nature renews and regenerates. This is the miracle of mother nature at work. Let’s get together and give nature a helping hand. When we take from our mother let’s give back and show gratitude for what she has provided for us. Our first nation’s people have been doing this for thousands and thousands of years.

As the world’s population grows we need to find ways to provide for everyone. These ways do exist. We can do it. We fear change. It’s easier to keep the status quo than to find new ways of doing things. Those who benefit from keeping everything as it is deny climate change. They deny the impact on the planet because to admit it would mean affecting the bottom line. Wealthy corporations feel threatened so they keep their heads in the sand and wish it all away. It won’t go away and that’s the reality of the world we are living in.

To say, “I won’t be here in 50 years so what do I care?” is selfish and irresponsible. We owe it to our children and grandchildren to leave them a sustainable world. What kind of world do we want our descendants to inherit? A world that gives them all they need to survive. A world of natural beauty and harmony where we co-exist with all creatures great and small. We can get together and make a change. It’s happened before.

In the eighties scientists studying the effects of CFCs (Chlorofluorocarbons) on the atmosphere discovered a hole in the ozone layer. The only way to prevent it getting bigger was to stop the use of CFCs worldwide. The world came together to ban the use of CFCs. When we human beings have the will to change something we can. When we come together in a common cause anything is possible.

I take responsibility for my part in this problem and I want to be a part of the solution. We only have one home. If we mess this one up we can’t go elsewhere.

Blessings to all xx

Posted on Nov 29, 2020 by startlifeat50

Decisions, decisions, decisions

“May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.” Nelson Mandela.

Making decisions is something we all do on a daily basis. They range from small, trivial things like what to have for dinner and what to wear through to major life decisions like getting married or divorced, moving interstate, overseas or just to the next suburb. Learning to drive, renting or buying a house, deciding on a career to making a career change and when to retire.

“Sometimes it’s the smallest decisions than can change your life forever.” Keri Russell.

Some decisions are easier to make than others. Decisions don’t just impact the person making them. More often than not other people’s needs have to be taken into consideration.

“To make the right choices in life, you have to get in touch with your soul. To do this, you need to experience solitude, which most people are afraid of, because in the silence you hear the truth and know the solutions.” Deepak Chopra.

We may feel indecisive at times, but I believe we know which choice is the right one for us. Sometimes we just need assurance that we are making the right one. We think we need confirmation from outside of ourselves. However all we need to do is listen to our intuition. Listen to our hearts and we can’t go wrong.

“Always go with the choice that scares you the most, because that’s the one that is going to help you grow.” Caroline Myss.

One practical way of making up our mind between say two choices is to write them down. Get two sheets of paper. Mark a column down the middle of the page. Column one is “Pros”. Column two is “Cons.” On the second piece of paper do the same. I find this helps me to make a decision. Happy decision making!

Blessings to all xx

Posted on Sep 12, 2020 by startlifeat50 · 2 Comments

Why are we here?

Is it presumptuous of me to think I know the answer to this question? It probably is, but I don’t presume to know the answers to life’s mysteries? What I’m about to write is what I believe to be true. My world view. Those who read this can choose to agree or disagree.

Why are we here? This is a question that has many responses. There’s no right or wrong answer. We are here I believe to change the world in some way, to love and care for one another. There have been many people who have come and gone who leave behind a legacy. They have influenced and inspired us in one way or another.

“Leave a trail of light behind you everywhere you go. Whose darkness you’ll illuminate. You may never know.” L.R. Knost.

These people have left their mark on the world in their own unique ways. Nelson Mandela, Mother Teresa, Mahatma Gandhi, Leonardo Da Vinci and Gautama Buddha. These human beings inspire me, but I could never be them. They were one of a kind. Each and every one of us is one of a kind. You don’t have to start a movement, run a country, or start a religion to make an impact.

“If you light a lamp for somebody, it will also brighten your path.” Buddhist saying.

Find your passion and ask, “How can I be of service to others? How can I use my talents and skills to achieve this?” For example you may be here to care for and nurture tomorrow’s adults. You may invent something or create a system that makes someone else’s life easier.

“Scatter seeds of kindness as you pass along the way.” Ella Wheeler Wilcox.

For me this is my writing. I want to teach with my gift. I want to uplift and inspire. I like to think that when my time comes to go back home I have left something of me behind. It most likely will be what I write, but it doesn’t have to be anything tangible. Something that says, “I was here.” I make the world a better place simply by being in it. I like to think so.

Blessings to all xx

“Be the beacon of light in someone’s darkness.” Randi G. Fine.

Posted on Aug 29, 2020 by startlifeat50

Wind

This past week we’ve had strong winds tear through my home city of Melbourne. This post will focus on my associations of wind. As I write this I hear the wind rustling through the trees just outside my window. It’s a reminder of Mother Nature going about her business as I go about mine.

“To most human beings, wind is an irritation. To most trees, wind is a song.” Mokokoma Mokhonoana.

Songs about the wind come to mind. “Blowin’ In The Wind” by Bob Dylan which speaks about change as does “Wind Of Change” by The Scorpions. I think of the wind as an agent of change. Change is a part of life. It’s better to accept this and go with the wind than to resist and be pushed around by it. The following quote by Bruce Lee speaks of acceptance.

“Notice that the stiffest tree is most easily cracked, while the bamboo or willow survives by bending with the wind.” Bruce Lee.

Another way of looking at this could be if I’m going with the wind it may mean that I’m following the mainstream. Doing what everyone else is doing and not questioning anything. If I’m going against the wind then I begin to question. Stand up for what I believe in.

As I go for a walk the wind whirs through my ears. It almost feels like it’s going in one ear and out the other. Clearing out the brain fog. Clearing out old thoughts and ideas that don’t serve me any longer.

“A breeze will always blow in the direction that it wishes to go.” Anthony T. Hincks.

Blessings to all xx